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  1. #1
    I am Brown so ARe you DOwN? www.desirulez.net
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    Mar 2008
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    Default Word Perfect Helpline ...

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    There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a
    long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This
    is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed
    from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to
    say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing
    the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".
    Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now
    I know why they record these conversations! ):

    Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
    Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect. "
    Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
    Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words
    went away."
    Operator: "Went away?"
    Caller: "They disappeared. "
    Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen look like now?"
    Caller: "Nothing."
    Operator: "Nothing??"
    Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
    Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
    Caller: "How do I tell?"
    Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
    Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
    Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
    Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I
    type."
    Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
    Caller: "What's a monitor?"
    Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
    Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
    Caller: "I don't know."
    Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where
    the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
    Caller: "Yes, I think so."
    Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's
    plugged into the wall.
    Caller: "Yes, it is."
    Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there
    were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
    Caller: "No."
    Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and
    find the other cable."
    Caller: "Okay, here it is."
    Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into
    the back of your computer."
    Caller: "I can't reach."
    Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
    Caller: "No."
    Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way
    over??"
    Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's
    because it's dark."
    Operator: "Dark??"
    Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is
    coming in from the window.

    " Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
    Caller: "I can't."
    Operator: "No? Why not??"
    Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
    Operator: "A power....... .. A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it
    licked now.

    Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer
    came in??"
    Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
    Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up
    just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you
    Bought it from."
    Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
    Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
    Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
    Operator: "Tell them you're too $*%ing stupid to own a computer!!!! !
    sorry dude .... Hash

 

 

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