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  1. #1
    "dR's Only Billionaire" www.desirulez.net
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    An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.

    When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her email address, he did his best to type it in from memory.

    Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife, whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream and fell to the floor in a dead faint. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

    DEAREST WIFE: JUST GOT CHECKED IN. EVERYTHING PREPARED FOR YOUR ARRIVAL TOMORROW.
    P.S. SURE IS HOT DOWN HERE.
    ____________________________

    A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower.
    In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket."
    The man leans out and with a glint in his eye said "I've got a better idea ... let's pretend we're married."
    "Why not," giggles the woman.
    "Good," he replies. "Get your own blanket."

    ___________________________

    A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan.
    He asks, "What was that for?"
    She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with 'Betty Sue' written on it."
    He says, "Jeez, honey, remember last week when I went to the track? 'Betty Sue' was the name of the horse I went there to bet on." She shrugs and walks away. Three days later he's reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan.
    He asks, "What was that for?"
    She answers, "Your horse called."

    ___________________________

    A man sat down and was seriously staring at the marriage certificate, after a long time his wife asked, “What are you looking for? He replied, “The expiration date.”

    ____________________________

    A man gets home, runs into his house, slams the door and shouts, "Honey, I just won the lottery! Pack your bags!"
    The wife says, "Great! What should I pack for? The ocean or the mountains?"
    He says, "I don't care! Just be out by the end of the week!"





    The meaning of the name Akili is 'Wisdom, intellect, sense'. # 1000....
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  2. #2
    Wrestler of the Month July www.desirulez.net
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    AchievmentsdR Wrestler Of The Month March 2013 I dR Wrestler Of The Month July 2013 I dR Star Of The Month May 2013 I 2x GFX League Champion

    We want punk..........We want punk..........We want punk..........

  3. #3
    Landed To DesiRulez www.desirulez.net
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    This is sooo awesome lolll

  4. #4
    Landed To DesiRulez www.desirulez.net
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    Good .

  5. #5

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    A man at work calls home and his 8 years old daughter picks the phone: “Hi honey, this is daddy. Is mommy near the phone?” “No daddy she is upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.” The little girl quoted. After a brief pause daddy says, “But honey you haven’t got an uncle Paul!” “Oh yes I do, and he is upstairs in the room with mommy right now.” Brief pause, “Uh okay then, this is what I want you to do; Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs, knock on the bedroom door, and shout to mommy that daddy’s car has just arrived at the gate.” “Ok daddy just a minute....” A while later the little girl comes back to the phone, “Done it daddy. ” "What happened honey?” “Well, mommy got scared and jumped out of the bed naked, ran round the room screaming, tripped over, and knocked her head on the staircase, now she is not moving at all.” “What about Uncle Paul?” asked Dad. He jumped out the window into the swimming pool, but I guess he didn’t know you emptied the water last week. He hit the bottom and I think he’s dead.” After a really long pause this time...Daddy says, “Swimming pool", but we don't have a swimming pool" but wait Is this 486-5731?” “No,this is 486-5713” “Sorry wrong number....!!!!”

  6. #6
    Landed To DesiRulez www.desirulez.net
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    Awesome

  7. #7
    Landed To DesiRulez www.desirulez.net
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    LOOOL loved the dead priest one.

 

 

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