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Thread: Santa Banta Jokes Part 1
03-03-2013, 06:46 PM #1
Santa Banta Jokes Part 1Presence of mind!!Santa and Banta were in a bank, when armed robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including Santa and Banta, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc. While this is going on Santa jams something in Banta`s hand.
Without looking down, Banta whispers, "What is this?"
To which Santa replies, "It`s that Rs 500 I owe you."
Santa`s son was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his mother, Jeeto,"How was I born?"
"Well dear..." said the embarrassed Jeeto, "the stork brought you to us."
"Oh," said the boy, "and how did you and daddy get born?"
"Oh, the stork brought us too," said Jeeto.
"Well how were grandpa and grandma born?" the boy persisted.
"Well darling, the stork brought them too!" said the frustrated Jeeto.
A few days later, the boy handed in his paper to the teacher who read with confusion the opening sentence:
"This report has been very difficult to write due to the fact that there hasn`t been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations."
Remarriage !!!Middle aged Santa and Jeeto were discussing life, and preparing wills. The conversation turned to remarriage...
Jeeto: If I should die first, will you remarry?
Santa: Probably, I wouldn`t like to spend the rest of my life alone.
Jeeto: Would you bring your new wife into our home that we have shared?
Santa: I don`t see why not. It would be empty, you wouldn`t be there.
Jeeto: Would you share the same bed we`ve shared?
Santa: Well, it`s a comfortable bed...
Jeeto: Would you let here wear my clothes?
Santa: Sure, if they fit. They are quitenice.
Jeeto: Would you let her use my golf clubs?
Santa: No way, Preeto is left handed.
Confusion of ownership !Santa and Banta bought two horses.
Now the problem was that they could not differentiate between the two horses.
So,one day Santa cuts the left ear of his horse, so that it is easy to know that it is his horse.When he does so,an enemy of Santa sees him doing so.
This enemy cuts the left ear of Banta's horse. Santa and Banta are confused.
So, next thing Santa cuts some body part of his horse and his enemy repeats the same on Bantas horse.
At last Santa s horse had no legs left and Banta s horse was with one leg only.
The enemy also went and cut Banta shorse one leg. So, in the morning it was the same sitaution , How to differentiate between their horses.So, after thinking and putting lots of effort to their mind - Santa said - O.K You keep the black one and I shall keep the white .
Stunt planeSanta and and his wife, Jeeto, went to a fair. Santa had never been on an airplane, was fascinated by a stunt plane and asked the pilot how much aride would cost.
"Rupees one thousand for 3minutes" the pilot replied.
"That`s too much" said Santa.
The pilot thought for a second and then said, "I`ll make you a deal. If you and your wife ride for 3 minutes without uttering a sound, the ride will be free. But if you make any sound atall, you`ll have to pay me the whole amount."
Santa and Jeeto agreed and went for a thrilling ride.
After they landed, the pilot said toSanta, "I want to congratulate you for not making a sound. You are a braveman."
"Maybe so," said Santa,"but I gotta tell you, I almost screamed when my wife fell out."
Pole LengthA man walking down the street came upon Santa and Banta who are trying to measure an up-right pole with a yard stick.
Along comes this really big, musclebound shmuck and says, "Hey, what are you guys doing?"
Santa and Banta say, "We're trying to measure the height of this pole."
The man wraps his arms around the pole,pulls it out of the ground, lays it down and measures it. Then he picks it up,puts it back in the ground and says, "22 feets," and walks away.
Santa was now quite mad and yelled back,"You idiot we were not trying to see how long it was...I need to know how high it is!
The meaning of the name Akili is 'Wisdom, intellect, sense'. # 1000....
03-05-2013, 04:46 PM #2
03-05-2013, 05:31 PM #3
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