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Thread: Winders 98

  1. #1
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    Default Winders 98

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    MICROSOFT NEWS RELEASE:
    It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Georgia edition of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside Georgia. If you have one of the Georgia editions you may need some help understanding the commands.
    The Georgia edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen.
    It reads WINDERS 98 with a background picture of the General Lee super imposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Daisy Duke screen saver.
    Also note:
    Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse
    My Computer is called This Infernal Contraption
    Dialup Networking is called Good Ol' Boys
    Control Panel is known as the Dern Dashboard
    Hard Drive is referred to as 4 wheel drive
    Floppies are them little ole plastic disc thangs.
    Other features:
    Instead of an error message you get a winder covered with a garbage bag and duct tape.
    OK = ats aww-right
    cancel = hail no
    reset = awa shoot
    yes = shore
    no = Naaaa
    find = hunt-fer it
    go to = over yonder
    back = back yonder
    help = hep me out here
    stop = ternit off
    start = crank it up
    settings = sittins
    programs = stuff that does stuff
    documents = stuff I done done
    Also note that winders 98 does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks.
    Some programs that are exclusive to winders 98:
    tiperiter................A word processor
    colering book............a graphics program
    addin mershene...........calculator
    scratch paper ...........notepad
    jupe-box ................CD Player
    inner-net................Microsoft Explorer
    pichers..................A graphics viewer
    IRS......................M/S accounting software
    IRS2.....................M/S accounting software with hidden files
    coon dog.................American kennel club records
    fishin...................Bass Anglers Sportsman Society records.
    NRA......................National Rifle Association
    shot gun ................Remington Arms price list
    riffel...................Winchester price list
    pisstel..................Smith & Wesson price list
    truck....................Ford & Chevrolet dealers in GA. by zip code
    house....................Nearest Mobil home repair service by zip code
    car .....................same as truck, just need two lists in Texas
    cuzzins..................family history usually a 3 meg file
    tax records..............usually an empty file
    shells...................ammunition inventory, another 3 meg file
    bud......................list of Budwiser dealers by zip code
    racin....................NASCAR racing schedule includes list of TV stations that carry the race car n' truck
    Parts.......nearest Junk yard by zip code
    doc .....................veterinarians by zip code
    We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of the Georgia edition. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.

  2. #2
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    Nice


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    nice

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    Do you know Richard Cheese?

 

 

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