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Thread: You still want to fly??
09-02-2012, 08:48 AM #1
You still want to fly??
After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripesheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraftduring the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read andcorrect the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the formwhat remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets beforethe next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack asense of humor.
Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints andproblems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenanceengineers.
By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has neverhad an accident.
(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.)
P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet perminute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and beserious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like amidget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
The meaning of the name Akili is 'Wisdom, intellect, sense'. # 1000....