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03-13-2012, 10:04 AM #1
WWE Raw Critique and Thoughts 3/12/12WNS Readers, welcome to what is destined to be another exciting Monday Night Raw on the Road to Wrestlemania! With only three Raw's remaining before the biggest event of the year, we're sure to have an unforgettable episode on our hands! Not to mention, we'll be having the Rock Concert and Rap tonight between The Rock and John Cena. We'll be with you all along the way to keep you updated on all of tonight's happenings!
We open with Jerry Lawler in the middle of the ring announcing to the audience that for the first time ever we'll have Rock and Rap Concert. How will we start things off? With some thuganomics! And out comes John Cena to his old Dr. Thuganomics theme and dressed in his old school jersey and chain look. Cena seems to be taking the thing very seriously as he enters the ring and doesn't even begin to crack a smile. The fans are giving Cena a bunch of heat as he picks up the mic. John Cena cracks jokes about G.I. Joe, Notes to Wrists, The Rock being like Lebron James, peck implants and giving him a Cleveland Steamer. It didn't take long for the fans to get behind Cena as he went further into his rap. He finishes it off by holding a bag of peanuts and telling Rock at Wrestlemania he's going to put his nuts right in his face. Cena exits the ring, again looking very seriousy.
Afterwards we get a preview of The Rock performing later tonight and the confrontation between HBK and The Undertaker.
Vickie Guerrero comes out to deliver her usual "Excuse Me" schtick before introducing Dolph Ziggler for his match against the Royal Rumble Winner, Sheamus! Dolph Ziggler immediatelly begins the match by showing off with a little Flair Shuffle. Sheamus gains the offensive and takes down Dolph before locking him in a head lock. He gets a one count before Dolph kicks out and gets to his feet. The momentum keeps up for Sheamus as he hits him with a hard shoulder and gets him locked in another head lock on the mat. Dolph finally gets the upper hand and layers Sheamus with repeated punches and kicks to the gut before Sheamus takes over and lays Dolph out once again. Sheamus gets Dolph on the ring apron and attempts to go for his signature Punch to the chest but Dolph evades it and gets outside of the ring to catch his breath.
Sheamus has control of Dolph as we come back from commercial. Sheamus has Dolph locked in an arm hold but Dolph fights his way out. Once again it doesn't last long as Sheamus delivers another hard shoulder before Dolph jumps back up to be thrown out of the ring. Dolph slides under the ring causing Sheamus to exit the ring where he'd be confronted by Vickie. Dolph exits from beneath the ring behind Sheamus and hits him with a big drop kick before picking Sheamus up and throwing him into the announce table. Both men are down as we get a count from the referee. Both men are up now and in the ring as Dolph gains control of the match. Dolph hits Sheamus with a hard neckbreaker before getting a one count. We're shown that Daniel Bryan and AJ are sitting in a Sky Box scouting Sheamus in his match. They briefly discuss Bryan telling AJ to shut up before both of the WWE Competitors blow it off and we return to the match. Sheamus has now gained control as he hits Dolph with three consecutive clothesline and a power slam. Sheamus gets a two count before getting up and signaling for the finisher. Dolph wiggles his way out of it but is planted by Sheamus once again. The two exchange pins before Sheamus lifts Dolph up and nails him with more punches. Sheamus goes for a spear on Dolph at the turnbuckle but misses and goes straight into the turnbuckles. Dolph hits his signature move and goes for the pin but Sheamus kicks out. Dolph is up but doesn't see Sheamus behind him and gets nailed with a Brogue Kick! 1-2-3! Sheamus defeats Dolph Ziggler via pin!
We're then told of the announcement on WWE.com detailing the 10 man tag match between Team Long and Team Laurinaitis at Wrestlemania!
John Laurinaitis is waving to the fans as he makes his way over to the announcing table to watch as we have a handicap match between Santino and David Otunga/Mark Henry.
And...here comes Teddy Long. Teddy and John are now in a argument outside of the ring as Otunga takes control of Santino in the match. Teddy shoves John over the announce table as we Santino gain control over the match. He goes for the Cobra on Otunga but Mark Henry grabs his arm and hits him with a Slam. Otunga tags in Mark Henry and Henry covers Santino for the count. 1-2-3! Mark Henry/David Otunga def. Santino via Pin. Now both men are attacking Santino but Kofi comes down for the save. He gets little offensive in before getting hit with a World's Strongest Slam. Now here comes R-Truth who also gets some offensive in before getting nailed with a slam by Otunga and a splash by Henry. Laurinaitis announces Mark Henry as the newest member of Team Laurinaitis! The three celebrate in the ring as Teddy looks on.
We get a promo for The Miz being on the upcoming episode of Psych this Wednesday Night. As well as a reminder of The Rock concert later tonight!
We're shown a clip from the WWE Diva's being on Extra and Eve making her way from the back before being stopped by Zack Ryder. Zack tells her that he's been trying to get hold of her all week and that he felt something he'd never felt when they kissed last week. Eve tells Zack that they'll be Friends with Benefits and that they'll do dinner tonight. Beth walks up to Eve and tells her she's going to the host of Extra a visit for not having her on the show.
We then cut to The Miz (who gets a big pop from the fans) petitioning to be named a member of Ace's team at Wrestlemania. He then introduces James Roday from Psych to Laurinaitis. He tells Laurinaitis that he needs The Miz's kind of star power on his team. Ace responds by telling The Miz that if he can defeat CM Punk in his match coming up, he'll be made part of the team. Roday is made the special guest announcer and we get a promo for the return of the Funkasaurus!
As we come back from Commercial we see Jinder Mahal making his entrance to prepare for his match against The Funkasaurus! Broducs Clay makes his entrance to a pretty decent pop from the Cleveland Crowd. Jinder Mahal slides into the ring and begins to attack Brodus Clay from behind. Clay immediatelly hits Mahal with a headbutt, a power slam and a splash off the ropes into a pin. Brodus Clay def. Jinder Mahal via pin. The match lasted about half as long as the celebration afterwards.
Coming up next, HBK makes his way to the ring to confront The Undertaker!
We come back to a standing ovation for no other than the Hearbreak Kid himself, Shawn Michaels! We're reminded by the announce team that Shawn Michael's will be the Guest Referee during the Undertaker/HHH Hell In A Cell Match at Wrestlemania 28! An HBK chant fills the arena as Shawn Michaels grabs the microphone. He reminds us that last week he told HHH about him being the Special Guest Referee and that HHH must not have been privy to that information. And that HHH delivered information that HBK wasn't aware of as we cut to HHH on the titanrton telling Shawn last week that he's going to defeat Undertaker for himself and for HBK.
HBK claims that nobody in the back has said he is a loser or couldn't get the job done. Granted, one person has been absent the last couple of weeks but thankfully he's here tonight and they can get this out of the way. HBK calls out the Undertaker and the bell hits! The fans are on their feet and as loud as they could be as fire and lightning take over the ramp!
The Undertaker makes his long walk down to the ramp where the man he retired awaits him. There are signs all throughout the Arena that read either 19-1 or 20-0 as the fans still remain standing as the two Legends stand face to face in the ring. HBK tells Taker that they always had respect for one another and figured that Taker would have the guts to make the remarks he made to Shawn's face. The Undertaker asks Shawn what he'd like him to say? That Shawn is a failure? A loser? Or is it that Shawn couldn't get the job done? Undertaker thinks Shawn needs to stop and think...is Shawn repeating Taker's words or the words chosen for Undertaker by HHH? Whatever the case may be, Shawn needs to let all of his insecurities...Shawn immediatelly cuts off and tells Undertaker begged HHH for the match. That he sits at 19-0 and still thinks he needs to prove himself. Why? Because last year HHH beat Taker within a inch of his life but Taker pulled it out. Taker tells Shawn that regardless of what happens at Wrestlemania, he's prepared to accept the outcome. But what he's not prepared to accept is Shawn sticking his ego in this. That their two matches and his match with HHH last year was all destiny and that the match coming up will be destiny and the end of an ERA. But what can't happen, is the outcome not be pure. And that if it isn't pure, there will be hell to pay. Shawn tells him that this isn't destiny, it's irony. It's ironic that HBK could be the guy who turns The Undertaker that he's a failure and that he couldn't get the job done. And that it's ironic that HBK could still possibly be the guy to end the streak. Taker grabs HBK by the arm and tells Shawn that he'll beat HHH at Wrestlemania and end an ERA. And that if HBK doesn't call the match right, that he will officially end Shawn. The two take part in a stare down before Shawn pats Taker on the shoulder and exits the ring. Triple H meets Shawn on the stage and stares at Taker, smiles, gives him a DX chop and then exits the stage.
Coming up next, The Miz vs. CM Punk!
We come back to James Roday being introduced as the Special Guest Ring Announcer! He actually gets a decent pop from the crowd, some of which are holding Psych signs.
"Finally! The white guy from Psych has made his way to Monday Night Raw!" Roday yells as he announces that the match is scheduled for "precisely" one fall. He then goes on to give a quite...disturbing yet detailed description of The Miz as The Miz's music hits. The Miz once again gets a pretty big pop from his hometown fans. Roday then announces CM Punk who also gets a pretty good pop from the Cleveland crowd.
We're shown Jericho watching the match from the back as CM Punk gains control of the match. Both men are seperated but attempt to lock up again before CM Punk gains control. CM Punk layers The Miz with repeated kicks and punches before he slingshots The Miz into the ropes and The Miz reverses Punk's move with a knee to the gut. Both men try to collect themselves as we cut to commercials.
As we come back from Commercial, The Miz has CM Punk locked in an abdominal stretch. CM Punk finally breaks the hold with an arm drag. CM Punk exits the ring and jumps off the ropes to hit The Miz with a flying elbow. CM Punk has complete control of the match now as he hits The Miz with repeated jabs, a knee to the face in the turnbuckle and then a bulldog. The Miz gains control momentarily but once again CM Punk gets the upper hand. The two are exchanging moves as The Miz hits CM Punk with a DDT and layers Punk with Punches. Punk kicks out of a count causing The Miz to go to the top turnbuckle. The Miz misses, Punk has him locked in the GTS...no Miz evades and gets Punk locked in the Skull Crushing Finales...no CM Punk gets The Miz locked in the Anaconda vice. CM Punk defeats The Miz via Submission.
Jericho shows up on the Titantron and tells Punk to enjoy his win because it won't last. That he knows Punk is a fraud and he goes on to tell the WWE Universe that Punk is straight edge because his father was a alcholic that constantly let Punk down. It's inevitable that Punk will end up like his father and that he knows it tortures Punk. That Punk can build up his wall but Jericho knows better. Punk looks distressed in the ring as Jericho continues going in on Punk about his father and alchohol. He then asks if Punk's tattoos are just another way to hide the desire to drink. Jericho vows that he is going to lead CM Punk into becoming an alcholic like his father when he beats Punk at Wrestlemania and is named the Best In the World. And that afterwards Punk will be recognized for what he is, a pathetic drunk just like his father. The promo draws a lot of attention from the crowd as they try to build Punk up with a CM Punk chant. Punk leaves the ring, very upset.
We come back and see a commercial for The Law Offices of David Otunga before Randy Orton begins to make his way down to the ring for his match with Jack Swagger.
Swagger has the offensive early as he hits Orton with two straight slams and locks Orton in an arm bar. Orton works his way out of the hold and slams Swagger to the mat. Orton has completely taken control now as he hits Swagger with repeated kicks and punches before sending Swagger out of the ring. Orton sends Swagger into the ring steps and then brings Swagger over to the announce table for a few slams. Randy has been very paranoid throughout the match, constantly looking behind him.
We come back from the commercial to see Swagger in control of the match as he has Orton locked in an arm stretch. Orton fights out and exchanges blows with Swagger before whipping him into the ring. Swagger fights out though and hits Orton with a hard elbow to the knee. Swagger begins to work the left leg of Orton that was aggravated in the move prior. Orton again fights himself out of the move but Swagger slams Orton back onto the mat and goes for a Swagger Bomb. Swagger misses but quickly has Orton in the ankle lock. Orton fights out and kicks Swagger out of the way. Orton gains control off of a move in the turnbuckle and superplexes Swagger back onto the mat. The fans begin to chant RKO as Randy hits what would be called a Comeback Moment in WWE '12. Orton hits Swagger with an RKO and goes for the pin. 1-2-3! Randy Orton defeats Swagger via pin.
Kane's ring Pyro hits as Orton stands alone in the middle of the ring. Moments pass with Orton looking around the ring but nothing happens as Orton continues to look very paranoid.
We get a reminder of Cena's comments earlieras we get ready for The Rock concert next!
We see that next week we'll have a match between Mark Henry and John Cena as well as a confrontation between the three men involved in the Hell In A Cell Match. And here is the man Cleveland has been waiting for, with his guitar in hand The Rock is here!
The fans are going crazy as the Rock wanders around the ring playing to the fans. He picks up his microphone and...wait no he's going to let them cheer him more. Now..."Finally! The Rock has come back to Cleveland!" And the fans eat it up as The Rock tells them to keep it going because he's proud to tell them they've broken a record. Tonight...is the largest sellout crowd in the history of the WWE!
The Rock points to the goosebumps on his arms as the fans begin to chant Rocky. He tells them he appreciates it but they should be chanting Cleveland. He then goes on to call Cena a sell out as well before insulting Cena's choice of gear. He claims that the Cena they all know is what it would look like if Vanilla Ice banged a Teletubbie. He sits back and enjoys more random chants from the WWE Crowd. He tells the crowd this isn't about a 2 minute rap, it's about something special. He then takes a seat and lifts his guitar to perform for the millions. Because everybody knows....Cleveland Rocks. He does a rendition of Jailhouse Rock and makes remarks about Cena being an Eminem Wannabe, a fruity pebble and not having any balls. The fans are once again eating out of The Rock's hands as he takes another drink of water and prepares for another verse. He talks about Cena going to the doctor and begging for a rectal exam from his Doctor. Then he goes on to sing about Cena making out with Eve when he has a wife before talking about the Doctor confirming Cena has lady parts during his birth.
The Rock then asks if there are any grown men in the crowd that are John Cena fans? The Rock acknowledges them before dedicating a song to them. He tells them that they're virgins that will never get a taste of pie and that they're a bunch of nerds.
The Rock tells the ladies that he'd like to dedicate a song to a very special woman who is watching. He then uses the song to talk about him hooking up with Cena's mom after the show. "Cena's mom can barely walk and we're dancing cause Cleveland Rocks".
The Rock places his guitar down, stands up and tells them there is only one song you can finish off The Rock Concert with and it's for the Millions. He then goes on to sing his own of rendition (lyrics on the Titantron) of "We Will Rock You" with the thousands in attendance. He then tells the millions they're going to Wrestlemania to kick Cena's ass in the biggest match of all time! Fade to black.