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  1. #1
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    Dec 2009

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    Calvin: I'm a genius, but I'm a misunderstood genius.
    Hobbes: What's misunderstood about you?
    Calvin: Nobody thinks I'm a genius.

    Calvin : You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood.
    Hobbes : What mood is that?
    Calvin : Last-minute panic.

    "Why isn't my life like a situation comedy? Why don't I have a bunch of friends with nothing better to do but drop by and instigate wacky adventures? Why aren't my conversations peppered with spontaneous witticisms? Why don't my friends demonstrate heartfelt concern for my well being when I have problems? ...I gotta get my life some writers."

    "I'm a simple man, Hobbes."
    "You?? Yesterday you wanted a nuclear powered car that could turn into a jet with laser-guided heat-seeking missiles!"
    "I'm a simple man with complex tastes."

    "My powerful brain has come up with a topic for my paper"
    "I'll write about the debate over Tyrannosaurs. Were they fearsome predators or disgusting scavengers?"
    "Which side will you defend?"
    "Oh, I believe they weer fearsome predators, definitely."
    "How come?"
    "They're *so* much cooler that way"

    "I'm not going to so my maths homework. Look at these unsolved problems. Here's a number in mortal combat with another. One of them is going to get subtracted. But why? What will be left of him? If I answered these, it would kill the suspense. It would resolve the conflict and turn intriguing possibilities into boring old facts."
    "I never really thought about the literary possibilities of maths."
    "I prefer to savour the mystery."

    "Mom's not feeling well. So I'm making her a get well card."
    "That's thoughtful of you."
    "See, on the front it says, 'Get Well Soon' ... and on the inside it says,'Because me bed isn't made, my clothes need to be put away and I'm hungry. Love Calvin.' Want to sign it?"
    "Sure, I'm hungry too"

    Dear Santa. Why is your operation located at the North Pole? I'm guessing cheap elf labour, lower environmental standards, and tax breaks. Is this really the example you want to set for us impressionable kids? ...My plan is to put him on the defensive before he considers how good I've been.

    "No, Calvin."
    "No, Calvin."
    "Then can I have a cookie?"
    "No, Calvin."
    "She's on to me."

    "Dad, I'd like to have a little talk."
    "As the wage earner here, its your responsibility to show some consumer confidence and start buying things that will get the economy going and create profits and employment. Here's a list of some big-ticket items I'd like for Christmas. I hope I can trust you to do whats right for our country."
    "I've got to stop leaving the Wall Street Journal around."

    - Calvin, about to become aware of the concept of winter...

    "Since September it's just gotten colder and colder. There's less daylight now, I've noticed too. This can only mean one thing - the sun is going out. In a few more months the Earth will be a dark and lifeless ball of ice. Dad says the sun isnt going out. He says its colder because the earth's orbit is taking us farther from the sun. He says winter will be here soon.
    Isn't it sad how some people's grip on their lives is so precarious that they'll embrace any preposterous delusion rather than face an occasional bleak truth?"

    I'm learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life ... Procrastinating and rationalizing.

    “- "I've been thinking Hobbes --"
    - "On a weekend?"
    - "Well, it wasn't on purpose..."”

    Calvin: "The whole first half of my life is a complete blank! What on earth did I know that someone wanted me to forget?"
    Hobbes: "I seem to recall you spent most of the time burping up."

    ...being a human...



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