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Thread: Fake News Dot COMedy
01-07-2011, 09:11 PM #1
Fake News Dot COMedy
Australian fans celebrate by mistake after Ashes defeat
Some of the cheerful Australian fans before they realized what had actually happened
Sydney, Australia. Habituated of seeing their home team win the much celebrated test cricket series, 50,000 Australians lined up the streets of Sydney following the conclusion of the 2010-11 Ashes today afternoon only to realize that their team had actually lost the series to England, that too by losing three times by an innings. Australia had not lost any Ashes series at home for the last 26 years.
After half an hour of wild celebrations, the creeping realization spread through the crowd after a few of the revelers happened to see what turned out to be a group of “unusually cheerful” Englishmen coming out of a bar. In contrast to the usual party late into the night, silence descended on the 50,000 confused revelers.
Awkwardness and embarrassment was largely avoided as the crowd made its way home uttering “nice to be outside”, “such lovely weather today” and “lot of people out today, bit busy”.
“Cricket? How did that go? But, I’m a rugby man, me”, said Dave Stroud, dressed in a Australia ODI shirt with an inflatable kangaroo tied onto his head, “no, mate, I was just out for a walk, the shirt? Oh, the missus put everything else in the wash. What kangaroo?”
Many found solace in a nearby bar by watching Australia thrash Fiji at Australian Rules Football. “This is more like it,” said one drinker, “think I’ll stick to this in future. India don’t have a team do they?”
Meanwhile after their comprehensive series win, many in England’s “Barmy Army” of fans are calling for an end to the Ashes urn, which contains the “ashes of English cricket” – the ashes of a stump from the 1882 series in which Australia beat England on English soil for the first time.
Instead, they are calling for the ceremonial burning of Michael Clarke’s bat to create the “ashes of Australian Cricket”. Many have suggested that an empty can of Victoria Bitter would be a fitting receptacle.
We kept on calling Ricky Ponting for his comments but he totally didn’t pick up the phone. We finally sent an SMS with a winking smiley before this report was decided to be published.
01-07-2011, 09:25 PM #2
01-07-2011, 09:40 PM #3
After Master Chef, Star Plus to air Dhobi Guru – Nikaal Daag, Varna Bhaag
Aamir Khan’s upcoming movie is scheduled to release in January 2011
Mumbai. After the much awaited closing ceremony of MasterChef’s first season, Star Plus is ready with another reality show involving household work. This time the channel is shifting focus from Kitchen to Bathroom and trying an original format. But it’s not about bathing or attending the call of nature in the toilets, the reality show will focus on the art of washing clothes.
“The format is very simple”, says Prafull Mishra, the copyright holder of the concept, “The participants will be given stained clothes of varied sizes and shapes. They would need to remove the stains within a specified time limit. The final winner would walk away with one crore rupees and the runner up will receive a brand new washing machine.”
The show would be tentatively called “Dhobi Guru” with a Hindi tagline “nikaal daag, varna bhaag” (get rid of the stain or get the hell out of here) and is reportedly being sponsored by Surf Excel.
The auditions for the show and preliminary rounds would take place in a studio but the later phases of the competition would take the participants to the nastiest of the slums where they’d encounter clothes sullied by stains of a million shades.
“Our grand finale would have special Holi episode that would test the finalists with all kinds of stains,” informed Mishra.
And guess what, the show would be hosted by Bollywood actor Aamir Khan, as it is expected to help him promote the upcoming movie “Dhobi Ghat”, which is being produced and directed by his wife Kiran Rao. This has given rise to rumors that Dhobi Guru could be launched on the same day when Dhobi Ghat is released.
“This is indeed very creative and first of its kind in the world and I always love to be different,” Aamir confirmed his role as the host of the show. Aamir would be joined by two renowned Dhobis (washermen) of the nation, who are currently unidentified.
Sources inform that earlier Star Plus had thought to approach Salman Khan but later decided against it as Salman is not very well associated with clothes, especially shirts. Akshay Kumar was not even considered, though the channel denied it had to do anything with Tees Maar Khan.
02-07-2011, 08:09 PM #4
Ra.One adjudged Best Film in Filmfare awards for unreleased movies
Bollywood awards nights have been celebrating talents and skills like event management, sponsorships, television advertising, professional networking, news reporting, fashion wearing, singing, dancing, and joking.
Mumbai. To make Bollywood awards as “transparent” and “genuine” as possible, Filmfare, the leading awards presenter, has decided to institute an award for the “unreleased” movies slated to release the following year. The inaugural awards were swept by Shah Rukh Khan, who won in various categories for his upcoming movies Ra.One and Don-2.
While Don-2 bagged the awards for Best Special Effects, Best Original Remake and Best Direction categories, his home production Ra.One won him awards for the Best Actor and Best Film categories. In addition to that, Ajrun Rampal too bagged the trophy for the Best Villain for his role in the yet to be released Ra.One.
Filfare announced that the awards for the “unreleased” movies have been instituted to encourage film makers of the under-production movies to give their best during the production of the film so that the quality of Indian cinema improves.
But not everyone agrees.
“If they really wanted to award talent, why didn’t they start it last year when Dhobi Ghat was being filmed?” wondered Kiran Rao, whose husband Aamir Khan nodded but refused to comment over the issue as a matter of principle and policy.
But some critics believe that the awards for the “unreleased” movies are the best thing to have happened to the Bollywood awards industry.
“Now all you need is a list of actors, synopsis of script, details of promoters and promotional posters of the film to determine talent. It can’t get any more real!” said a critic, who has been following various Bollywood awards given by various gossip magazines.
“Well yeah, the process to select the winners won’t be any different from what they are already doing,” the critic conceded, “But look at the brighter side, now they can award Katrina Kaif as the Best Actress and no one can criticize that logically!”
Filmfare award organizer Khalid Mohamed was very upset with these insinuations. “It’s a genuine effort to respect talent; else we could have started this category when both my films Fiza and Tehzeeb were under production. I have personally lost a lot of friends in this industry because of heartbreaks over awards,” he said.
When asked who his best friend was, Khalid said, “I have always respected Shahrukh as he realizes the importance of friendship and has stood by me in my thick and thin.”