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  1. #1
    Runner Up - Admins Awards
    Join Date
    Dec 2009

    Default 9 Strong Reasons to own a Monkey

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    9 Strong Reasons to own a Monkey

    Monkeys. They’re awesome. You don’t really need a list of reasons
    to own a monkey, but in case you're curious, here are nine very
    important ones to consider.

    1. Drinking Buddy

    Banana liquor -- there's a reason bars serve it. But monkey isn’t picky
    either. He’ll drink his own urine if given the chance. If you thought your
    monkey was funny before, wait until he’s dancing on the bar to
    “Fergalicious” after his tenth shot of Jaeger.

    The bad part is you’ll probably be picking up the tab. Totally worth
    it though

    2. Designated Driver

    If movies from the 80’s taught us anything, it’s that monkeys can drive
    (and give the finger). Is a cop going to give a monkey a ticket? I mean,
    who’d believe him?

    After a long night of drinking, monkey will probably be the better driver
    anyway, so give him the keys and fasten your safety belt, because it’s
    going to be a thrill-ride no matter where you’re going.

    3. Childcare

    I've never opened the newspaper to read about some Momma monkey
    leaving her baby inside a car in 100 degree weather. Never once have
    I seen an evening news piece about a Daddy monkey being thrown in
    the back of a cop car while a baby monkey is sent away with Child
    Protective Services Monkeys love their children and -- since most babies
    seem to resemble little, hairless primates -- I’m sure your monkey would
    take to your infant as if it was his or her own.

    It’s up to you when it comes to breaking your children of poo-flinging, though

    4. Blame

    They are always saying that you can’t blame an animal for the things
    it does. For its instincts.

    Monkeys make the perfect fall guy for your everyday screw-ups.
    No one gets mad at the monkey. Spilled something? Monkey did it
    ! Ate the last slice of pizza? Monkey did it! Slept with your bosses’
    wife? Monkey did it! Twice. Who farted?

    I think we know the answer

    5. Two Players

    With a monkey you’ll always have a second player for anything you
    choose to do.

    Monkeys love all games. And, truthfully, you hate losing, so having
    a monkey as a second player should give you an easy win every
    time unless you’ve foolishly chosen something that involves trees
    and/or vines.

    6. Your Girlfriend's Cat

    A monkey will easily solve that problem.
    and he is right choice for that........

    7. Backup

    Monkeys are loyal. If you've got beef with someone, monkey's got beef
    with someone, and he will fight to the death to protect you. How many of
    your boys would do the same? Plus, monkeys have thumbs and that'll
    come in handy when it’s time to draw down on some punk *****es who
    dare to roll through your hood.

    8. Wingman

    You know the situation. You’re at the bar and you glance at this
    hottie in the corner hanging with her ugly friends. One of your bros
    might say, “Screw you pal, I ain’t jumping on that grenade," but not
    monkey. Monkey doesn’t mind taking one for the team.

    In fact, monkey prefers ladies with extra body hair.

    9. Revenge

    No one suspects the monkey. Monkeys don’t have criminal records
    and there will be no cross-examining of the witness. There are no
    records of monkey fingerprints and a police line-up would be

    You can safely have your monkey kill your enemies.


    Whats up guys....

    Is he not worth for....

    Come on get up and get one.......

    and don't forget to add Rep... caz.. i have assigned my monkey to check it up


    and don't forget its a question of his Reputation too................

    ...being a human...

  2. #2
    dR Founders
    Join Date
    Mar 2008


  3. #3
    The Creator :)
    Join Date
    Mar 2008


    lmao where can i get one from?

  4. #4
    Retired Staff
    Join Date
    Feb 2010


  5. #5
    ∂я ∂єνιℓ
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    In HeaRtzZ


    lolzzzzzzzz nycccccccccccc

  6. #6
    dR Dazzler
    Join Date
    Dec 2009




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