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Thread: 9 Strong Reasons to own a Monkey
12-01-2010, 02:20 AM #1
9 Strong Reasons to own a Monkey9 Strong Reasons to own a Monkey
Monkeys. They’re awesome. You don’t really need a list of reasons
to own a monkey, but in case you're curious, here are nine very
important ones to consider.
1. Drinking Buddy
Banana liquor -- there's a reason bars serve it. But monkey isn’t picky
either. He’ll drink his own urine if given the chance. If you thought your
monkey was funny before, wait until he’s dancing on the bar to
“Fergalicious” after his tenth shot of Jaeger.
The bad part is you’ll probably be picking up the tab. Totally worth
2. Designated Driver
If movies from the 80’s taught us anything, it’s that monkeys can drive
(and give the finger). Is a cop going to give a monkey a ticket? I mean,
who’d believe him?
After a long night of drinking, monkey will probably be the better driver
anyway, so give him the keys and fasten your safety belt, because it’s
going to be a thrill-ride no matter where you’re going.
I've never opened the newspaper to read about some Momma monkey
leaving her baby inside a car in 100 degree weather. Never once have
I seen an evening news piece about a Daddy monkey being thrown in
the back of a cop car while a baby monkey is sent away with Child
Protective Services Monkeys love their children and -- since most babies
seem to resemble little, hairless primates -- I’m sure your monkey would
take to your infant as if it was his or her own.
It’s up to you when it comes to breaking your children of poo-flinging, though
They are always saying that you can’t blame an animal for the things
it does. For its instincts.
Monkeys make the perfect fall guy for your everyday screw-ups.
No one gets mad at the monkey. Spilled something? Monkey did it
! Ate the last slice of pizza? Monkey did it! Slept with your bosses’
wife? Monkey did it! Twice. Who farted?
I think we know the answer
5. Two Players
With a monkey you’ll always have a second player for anything you
choose to do.
Monkeys love all games. And, truthfully, you hate losing, so having
a monkey as a second player should give you an easy win every
time unless you’ve foolishly chosen something that involves trees
6. Your Girlfriend's Cat
A monkey will easily solve that problem.
and he is right choice for that........
Monkeys are loyal. If you've got beef with someone, monkey's got beef
with someone, and he will fight to the death to protect you. How many of
your boys would do the same? Plus, monkeys have thumbs and that'll
come in handy when it’s time to draw down on some punk *****es who
dare to roll through your hood.
You know the situation. You’re at the bar and you glance at this
hottie in the corner hanging with her ugly friends. One of your bros
might say, “Screw you pal, I ain’t jumping on that grenade," but not
monkey. Monkey doesn’t mind taking one for the team.
In fact, monkey prefers ladies with extra body hair.
No one suspects the monkey. Monkeys don’t have criminal records
and there will be no cross-examining of the witness. There are no
records of monkey fingerprints and a police line-up would be
You can safely have your monkey kill your enemies.
Whats up guys....
Is he not worth for....
Come on get up and get one.......
and don't forget to add Rep... caz.. i have assigned my monkey to check it up
and don't forget its a question of his Reputation too................
...being a human...
12-01-2010, 07:33 AM #2
12-01-2010, 07:34 AM #3
12-01-2010, 08:18 AM #4
01-06-2011, 07:42 PM #5
01-07-2011, 10:45 AM #6