Results 1 to 1 of 1
11-24-2010, 07:44 AM #1
How To Decide If You Are In A Useless RelationshipHow can you tell if your relationship is useless and doomed to end? Here are a few clues to help you decide.
- Your partner verbally abuses you.
- Your partner tells you he/she loves you, but fails to show you.
- Your partner consistently checks up on you and does not trust you. He/she reads your mail or email and shows up when not expected.
- You are not allowed to have any independence.
- You try to be what your partner wants you to be and not yourself.
If you answered "yes" to any of these clues, then you may be wasting your time in the relationship unless changes can be made to save the relationship. You may even ask yourself "how did I end up here?"
Why do people end up in useless or dead end relationships? Why do they like to be with someone that belittles and can emotionally or physically harm them?
These types of relationships usually run a course. It starts off in the blissful stage, followed by a big blow up, then an "I am sorry, let's get back together" phase - then it all starts over again. You get locked into this never-ending cycle.
When you first meet, you are blinded by love and bliss. Your new partner can do no wrong and the "wool" is putted over your eyes. It is hard to realize or admit that the relationship could have problems and might not be right for you. It is even harder to see or want to get out of the relationship at this point.
If someone's home life was involved in this type of relationship growing up, then they are more likely to drawn to the same kind of relationship. It is the cycle of life and duplication. People have a tendency to duplicate what they know even if they know better.
Anyone involved in a useless relationship has a tendency to have low esteem from the constant belittling or brow beating. Because of this, they tend to stay in the relationship thinking that no one else would have them. This is the type of mind control that takes place and keeps someone in this type of relationship.
Once you realize what is going on and that you have choices, then you can stand up for yourself. You suddenly realize that it is not all your fault as you have been told. With this knowledge, you can have a better chance of getting out of the relationship or getting things changed.
For some people, it takes counseling or therapy to be able to redefine their lives. The good news is that some couples can break out of the cycle and get their relationship back on track for happiness. Yet, for others, the only solution is to "get out" of the relationship.
Thankfully, most relationships can be healed and gotten back on track. Whether it takes counseling, time or more space, if both partners are willing to work together, they can create a healthy bond.
First, you must come to the conclusion that the relationship must change or you will be prepared to walk away from it. As long as you are willing to stay in the relationship and do nothing, then the madness will continue.
Once you decide to be independent, instead of totally dependent, you can start the process of salvaging or ending the relationship. Nagging, pleading or begging will not work, be strong and tell your partner exactly the way you feel and what you truly need.
If your partner is not willing to provide you with what you need out of the relationship, then they must know that you are willing to walk away.
Healthy relationships consist of a sense of give and take from both parties. If this is not what your relationship is founded on, then it is time you make a change. You have the power of happiness in your hands, so take action.
These are just a few steps to help you inspect your relationship, and there are more you can learn....being a human...