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Thread: Laloo Jokes
09-10-2010, 05:04 PM #1
After completing a jigsaw puzzle he had been working on, Laloo proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend. "It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT", Laloo brags.
"FIVE MONTHS? THAT'S TOO LONG", the friend exclaims.
"YOU ARE A FOOL". Laloo replies. "SEE THIS NOTE ON THE BOX, IT READS - FOR 2-5YRS".
Rabri Devi died and went to heaven (Don"t Laugh). As she stood in front of yamraj , she saw a huge wall of clocks behind.
She asked, "What are all those clocks?"
Yamraj answered, "Those are LieCloks. Everyone on Earth has a LieClock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," said Rabri, "Who"s clock is that?" That"s Gautam Buddha"s. The hands have never moved indicating that he never told a lie.
"And whose clock is that?" That"s Abraham Lincoln"s clock. The hands have only moved twice, telling us that Abraham only told 2 lies in his entire life."
Rabri asked, "Where"s my Laloo"s clock?"
"Laloo"s clock is in my office", replied yamraj, "I"m using it as a ceiling fan.
Laloo Yadav's car is driving along a back country road on the way back
to Patna , when all of a sudden a piglet jumps out in front of the car...
The piglet dies on the spot. Laloo, upset, tells the driver to
go find the owner of the piglet so that he can pay the damages...
The driver is gone for two hours and when he comes back, he has a
bag full of money, and a wondering look on his face. Laloo wants to
know what happened.
The driver tells him "Hum jab gaanv me pahuncha to dekha kuchh log
ped ke niche baithe hain. Jub hum unko bataya ki kya hua hai,tab sare
log jama ho gaye. Humko laga ki aaj to hamari pitayee hogee.Par hum
dekha ki sare log paisa jama kar rahe hain. Hum socha ki ye sara
piasa wo janvar ke malik ke liye hai. Par un logo ne saara paisa
hamein de diya, aur kaha "bahut achchha kaam kiya hai re bhaiya"
Laloo says "Sasoor ka natee, Theek theek bata. Tu unko kya bola tha? "
The driver replies "Hum kaha ki hum Laloo Yadav ka driver hoon aur
hum sooar ka bachcha ko maar diya hoon"
* What do they call French Toilet in Bihar ?
* Laloo goes to america to Bush for learning english.
After some days Bush calls rabri devi & told her "ae sasoora angreji nahin seekh sakat hai."
* Once Laloo was coming out of Airport. As there was huge rush the security guard told Laloo "WAIT SIR" for which Laloo replied "65Kgs" and moved on...
* Laloos family planning policy..
"Don't have more than two children in one year"
* At a bar man to Laloo's left tells the bartender, "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." & the man's companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE." The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?" Laloo replies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED."
* A reporter asked Laloo "What is the main reason for a divorce ?"
* Laloo returns from a US tour. As he completes his press conference and is about to leave, he goes, "I would like to thank the president of the United States from the bottom of my heart and my wife's bottom too"
* After having become the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to pose for a picture. To show he is down to earth CM he decides to pose along with a herd of buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of the cattle he poses for the photo. Next day the photo appears front page of a newspaper.
GUESS THE CAPTION "Laloo, third from left"
* Laloo Prasad Yadav talks to his son.
Laloo: I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son : "I want to choose my own bride"
Laloo : "But the girl is Ambani's daughter."
Son : "Well, in that case...... Yes"
Next Laloo approaches Mukesh Ambani
Laloo : "I have a husband for your daughter."
Ambani : "But my daughter is too young to marry."
Laloo : "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Ambani : "Ah, in that case.....Yes"
Finally Laloo goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Laloo : "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President :"But I already have more vice-presidents than I need."
Laloo : "But this young man is Ambani's son-in-law."
President : "Ah, in that case.......Yes." This is how business is done!
The meaning of the name Akili is 'Wisdom, intellect, sense'. # 1000....