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Thread: Lexophiles.. .
06-25-2010, 09:01 PM #1
1. A bicycle cannot stand alone;
It is two tired.
2. A will is a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow;
Fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts;
In feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
6. A chicken crossing the road:
Poultry in motion.
7. If you don't pay your exorcist
You can get repossessed.
8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft
I'll show you A-flat miner.
10. When a clock is hungry
It goes back four seconds.
11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France
Resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
13. You are stuck with your debt
If you can't budge it.
14. Local Area Network in Australia :
The LAN down under.
15. A calendar's days are numbered.
16. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
17. He had a photographic memory
Which was never developed.
18. The short fortune teller who escaped from prison:
A small medium at large.
19. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
20. When you've seen one shopping centre
You've seen a mall.
21 If you jump off a Paris bridge,
You are in Seine.
22. When she saw her first strands of gray hair,
She thought she'd dye.
23. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
24. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
A jab well done.
26. Marathon runners with bad shoes
Suffer the agony of de feet.
27. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island,
But it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
28. She was only a whisky maker,
But he loved her still.
29. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because
It was a weapon of math disruption.
30. No matter how much you push the envelope,
It'll still be stationery.
31. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road
Was cited for littering.
32. Two silk worms had a race.
They ended up in a tie.
33. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.
The police are looking into it.
34. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
35. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.
One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'
36. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.
Then it hit me.
37. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre said:
'Keep off the Grass.'
38. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
39. When cannibals ate a missionary,
They got a taste of religion....being a human...