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    Default Little Johnny Jokes

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    Little Johnny is very well known around the world. Little Johnny is always doing mischievous things around the home and consistantly gets into trouble at school.

    Enjoy these jokes.
    Little Johnny’s Playing Partner

    Little Johnny is walking down the hall when he hears a noise from his parents room. He knocks on the door and asks his mom what’s going on. “Playing cards,” she replies. “Who’s your partner?” asked little johnny. “Your father!”

    Content with his answer, Little Johnny walks further down the hall towards his room when he hears the same noise coming from his sister’s room. Again, he knocks on the door and asked his sister what was she doing. “Playing cards.” “With who?” he asks. ”My boyfriend!” she says.

    A short while later, Little Johnny’s father is walking down the hall and hears a noise coming from Little Johnny’s room. He knocks on the door and asks ”What are you doing?” “Playing cards!” replied Johnny. ”Who’s your partner?” asked his father…

    Little Johnny answers promptly, “With a hand like this who needs a partner?”


    Little Johnny rides again

    Little Johnny was passing his parents bedroom in the middle of the night in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peeks in and catches his parents in the act.

    Before his Dad can even react, little Johnny exclaims, “Oh boy! Horsey ride. Daddy can I ride on your back?”

    Daddy, relieved that Johnny was not asking more uncomfortable questions and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, agrees.

    Johnny hops on and daddy starts going to town. Pretty soon his mummy starts moaning and gasping and Johnny cries out, “Hang on tight, Daddy. This is the part where me and the milkman usually gets bucked off!”


    little Johhny and the train set

    * Home

    New Trainset

    Johnny loved his new trainset. His mother could leave him for hours at a time while she did things around the house without him to bother her.

    One day, while she was cooking dinner, she over heard Johnny. Everytime the train would pass the station, she would hear him say “All those that want to get off, get the ~censored~ off, All of you that want to get on, get the ~censored~ on.”

    Highly disturbed by this, she raced into the room where Johnny was playing. “Young man”, she said “march up to your room and think about what I’ve told you about that kind of language.”

    So up to his room he goes.

    Two hours later, he comes back down and sits down by his trainset. The train goes around a couple of times and he proceedes to say “All those who want to get off, get the ~censored~ off, all those who want to get on, get the ~censored~ on, all those who are pissed off about the two hour delay, talk to the ***** in the kitchen.


    Little Johnny says "I Like Your Thinking"

    A teacher asks her class, “If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?”

    She calls on little Johnny. He replies, “None, they all fly away with the first gun shot”

    The teacher replies, “The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.”

    Then, Little Johnny says “I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.

    Which one is married?”

    The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied “Well I suppose the one that’s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone” To which Little Johnny replied, “The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on, but I like your thinking.”

    ...being a human...



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