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Thread: Caught Speeding

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    Default Caught Speeding

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    Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

    Officer: Maam, you were speeding.

    Woman: Oh, I see.

    Officer: Can I see your license please?

    Woman: Id give it to you but I dont have one.

    Officer: Dont have one?

    Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.

    Officer: I seeCan I see your vehicle registration papers please.

    Woman: I cant do that.

    Officer: Why not?

    Woman: I stole this car.

    Officer: Stole it?

    Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

    Officer: You what?

    Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want
    to see.

    The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and
    calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior
    officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

    Officer 2: Maam, could you step out of your vehicle please!

    The woman steps out of her vehicle.

    Woman: Is there a problem sir?

    Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this
    car and murdered the owner.

    Woman: Murdered the owner?

    Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car,

    The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

    Officer 2: Is this your car, maam?

    Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

    The first officer is stunned.

    Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving

    The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and
    hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and
    examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

    Officer 2: Thank you maam, one of my officers told me you didnt
    have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked
    up the owner.

    Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.
    ...being a human...



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