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06-07-2010, 10:18 PM #1
Humor from great minds....... .....!!
1. As you get older three things happen.
The first is your memory goes, and I can't
remember the other two...
-- Sir Norman Wisdom
2. One of the most difficult things in
the world is to convince a woman that even
a bargain costs money.
-- Edgar Watson Howe
3. A true friend is one who overlooks
your failures and tolerates your success!
-- Doug Larson
4. A harmful truth is always better then
...a useful lie!
-- Eric Bolton
5. When I was a kid I used to pray every
night for a new bike. Then I realized that
The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole
one and asked him to forgive me.
-- Erno Philips
6. I only go to work on days that don't
end in a 'y'.
-- Robert Paul
7. We spend the first twelve months of
our children's liv! es teaching them to
walk and talk and the next twelve telling
them to sit down and shut up.
-- Phyllis Diller
8. Laughter is the closest distance
between two people.
-- Victor Borge
9. Start every day with a smile and
get it over with.
-- W.C. Fields
10. Everything is funny as long as
it is happening to somebody else.
-- Will Rogers
11. Always get married early in
the morning. That way, if it doesn't
work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.
-- Mickey Rooney
12. Women now have choices. They can
be married, not married, have a job, not
have a job, be married with children,
unmarried with children. Men have the
same choice we've always had: work or prison.
-- Tim Allen
13. If you never want to see a man again,
say, 'I love you, I want to marry you. I want
to have children...' - they leave skid marks.
-- Rita Rudner
14. I'm not afraid to die. I just don't
want to be there when it happens.
-- Woody Allen
15. Advice is what we ask for when
we already know the answer but wish we
-- Erica Jong
16. Don't take life too seriously,
you'll never get out of it alive.
-- Elbert Hubbard
17. Always and never are two words
you should always remember never to use.
-- Wendell Johnson
18. In life, it's not who you know
that's important, it's how your wife
-- Joey Adams
19. I've been in love with the same
woman for forty-one years. If my wife
finds out, she'll kill me.
-- Henry Youngman
20. Have you noticed that all the
people in favor of birth control are
already born ?
-- Benny...being a human...
06-09-2010, 07:22 AM #2
Ɩ σиcɛ нα∂ α нɛαят...
ιт ωαƨ тяʋɛ...
иσω ιт'ƨ ɢσиɛ ғяσм мɛ тσ ʏσʋ...
ƨσ тακɛ cαяɛ σғ ιт...
αƨ Ɩ нαʌɛ ∂σиɛ...
иσω ʏσʋ нαʌɛ тωσ αи∂ Ɩ нαʌɛ иσиɛ.