Results 1 to 2 of 2

Thread: Holy Humor

  1. #1
    Runner Up - Admins Awards
    Join Date
    Dec 2009


    Default Holy Humor

    Follow us on Social Media

    Holy Humor**A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, "Iknowwhat the Bible means!"His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you 'know' what theBible means?The son replied, "I do know!""Okay," said his father. "What does the Bible mean?""That's easy, Daddy..." the young boy replied excitedly," It stands for'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.' (This one is my favorite)=======

    There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible toher brother in another part of the country."Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk."Only the Ten Commandments." answered the lady.========

    "Somebody has said there are only two kinds of people in the world.There are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning,Lord," and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "GoodLord, it's morning."========

    A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city becausehe was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter.Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circledthe block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment.Forgive us our trespasses."When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along withthis note "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you aticket I'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation."========

    There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and announced tohis congregation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, wehave enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is,it's still out there in your pockets."========

    While driving in Pennsylvania , a family caught up to an Amishcarriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor,because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign..."Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not stepin exhaust."========

    A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question, "Boys andgirls, what do we know about God?"A hand shot up in the air. "He is an artist!" said the kindergartenboy."Really? How do you know?" the teacher asked."You know - Our Father, who does art in Heaven... "========

    A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just beforea long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there weremany cars ahead of him. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward avacant pump."Reverend," said the young man, "I'm so sorry about the delay. It seemsas if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a longtrip."The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in mybusiness."========

    People want the front of the bus, the back of the church, and thecenter of attention.========

    Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter what thelesson was about.The daughter answered, "Don't be scared, you'll get your quilt."Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed. Later in the day, the pastorstopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what that morning's Sundayschool lesson was about.He said "Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming."========

    The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to askthe congregation to come up with more money than they were expectingfor repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to findthat the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been broughtin at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play."Here's a copy of the service," he said impatiently. "But, you'll haveto think of something to play after I make the announcement about thefinances."During the service, the minister paused and said, "Brothers andSisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice asmuch as we expected and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge$100 or more, please stand up."At that moment, the substitute organist played "The Star SpangledBanner."And that is how the substitute became the regular organist!________________________________

    When you carry the Bible, Satan gets a headache..... When you open it,he collapses..... When he sees you reading it, he faints.... When hesees that you are living what you read, he flees..... And when you areabout to forward this message.... He will try and discourage you.. Ijust defeated him!!! Any other takers?
    ...being a human...

  2. #2
    RIP-Mate, You ll be Remembered:)
    Join Date
    Feb 2011






Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts