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    dR Dazzler www.desirulez.net
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    Jan 2010
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    Default Computer Term Dictionary

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    586:
    The average IQ needed to understand a PC.

    State-of-the-art:
    Any computer you can't afford.

    Obsolete:
    Any computer you own.

    Microsecond:
    The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.

    G3:
    Apple's new Macs that make you say, "Gee, it's three times faster than the computer I bought for the same price a microsecond ago."

    Syntax Error:
    Walking into a computer store and saying, "Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object."

    Hard Drive:
    The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, especially after a Syntax Error.

    GUI (pronounced "gooey"):
    What your computer becomes after spilling your coke on it.

    Keyboard:
    The standard way to generate computer errors.

    Mouse:
    An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.

    Floppy:
    The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.

    Portable Computer:
    A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips.

    Disk Crash:
    A typical computer response to any critical deadline.

    System Update:
    A quick method of trashing ALL of your software.

 

 

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