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Thread: Lexophiles.. .

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    1. A bicycle cannot stand alone;

    It is two tired.

    2. A will is a dead giveaway.

    3. Time flies like an arrow;

    Fruit flies like a banana.

    4. A backward poet writes inverse.

    5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts;

    In feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

    6. A chicken crossing the road:

    Poultry in motion.

    7. If you don't pay your exorcist

    You can get repossessed.

    8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

    9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft


    I'll show you A-flat miner.

    10. When a clock is hungry

    It goes back four seconds.

    11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

    12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France


    Resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

    13. You are stuck with your debt

    If you can't budge it.

    14. Local Area Network in Australia :

    The LAN down under.

    15. A calendar's days are numbered.

    16. A boiled egg is hard to beat.

    17. He had a photographic memory

    Which was never developed.

    18. The short fortune teller who escaped from prison:

    A small medium at large.

    19. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

    20. When you've seen one shopping centre

    You've seen a mall.

    21 If you jump off a Paris bridge,

    You are in Seine.

    22. When she saw her first strands of gray hair,

    She thought she'd dye.

    23. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

    24. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

    25. Acupuncture:

    A jab well done.

    26. Marathon runners with bad shoes

    Suffer the agony of de feet.

    27. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island,

    But it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

    28. She was only a whisky maker,

    But he loved her still.

    29. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because

    It was a weapon of math disruption.

    30. No matter how much you push the envelope,

    It'll still be stationery.

    31. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road


    Was cited for littering.

    32. Two silk worms had a race.

    They ended up in a tie.

    33. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.

    The police are looking into it.

    34. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

    35. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.

    One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'

    36. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.

    Then it hit me.

    37. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre said:

    'Keep off the Grass.'

    38. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

    39. When cannibals ate a missionary,

    They got a taste of religion.
    ...being a human...



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